Growing older is often a painful and sobering journey. My father died when I was 12 and my mother and I were close until she died just a month away from her 99th birthday.
She lived with us for 12 years after she broke her hip. It was a 12-year odyssey watching this very independent lady, wonderful teacher, and a terrific grandmother gradually succumb to the sadness and pain of aging. Losing her independence, hearing, and confidence was difficult to watch. She did read and could talk politics with the best of them though.
Loneliness was the most devastating aspect as one after the other offspring left home. She championed each one and loved them unconditionally. She called them her monuments and they are. They all carry on her generosity and love to reminisce about Grandma's quotes.
Most of those twelve years were great, however, some were difficult. The deacons in our church filled an important need in her life when she chose not to go out. They visited often and it became her touch with outside. She certainly looked forward to their visits. Our deacons are wonderful, sharing, compassionate people, and I was privileged to be their moderator at one time.
Kate Thoresen was another thoughtful and reliable resource. She went with my mother and me to Beaumont because my mom didn't want to go. Hospitals seem to treat the elderly as if they don't count. When the intake nurse asked mom, "Who is the president of the U.S.?" my mother drew herself up and said, "Do you want the German pronunciation or the American?" (It was George Sr. at the time.)
In remembering my mom on her birthday this week, I recall how important cards, a phone call, or a visit were in her life. There are many lonely people in our church. They still have all their mental faculties, or most of them, but they're reluctant to venture out, especially at night.
I personally am going to send Valentine's and Easter cards to some of my "longer" friends that I've not seen or talked to and I hope this memory will encourage you, who read this, to do the same. James M. Barrie said, "Those who bring sunshine in to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves."
Lou Stewart
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