SATURDAY, MARCH 31

1 Corinthians 14:1 Follow the way of love and eagerly desire spiritual gifts.

October 15, 2007: It was a beautiful fall day in Santa Fe, New Mexico. I had met Kevin Calloway about a week before, and we had chosen to meet for lunch on this day. The independent film I was working on was wrapping October 23rd, and then, back to Los Angeles for me.

Lunch was wonderful. Conversation flowed easily and I was very impressed with Kevin. After lunch, we drove up the mountain to the aspens which were at their golden peak. We talked of film, music, our dreams, our families – the connection was instant and seemed destined from the start.

As the week passed and we spent more time together, a conflict arose in me. I was 32 years old, almost 33. My undertaking of producing and acting in this small film was somewhat of a swan song effort. I had been in Los Angeles since 1992, grasping and reaching for success in the industry, with varying degrees of success. But I always knew there was something deeper and much more profound to be experienced. Why was this amazing man coming into my life at exactly the most inopportune time? Is it time to abandon this "dream" that really, if I were totally honest with myself, never really seemed fulfilling enough? Or, should I snap out of it and make my way back to Los Angeles where I belonged, and resume my life as it once was?

Well, we all know which path I chose. It was the best decision I have ever made. Up until October 15, 2007, it had only been me, Julian Howland, navigating LA as a free agent. I had many friends, some deep, most surface and shallow. I decided to trust my heart for the first time in my life, instead of my mind (and my ego). It was all entirely new for me, but I have learned so much in the past four years. I have learned that love and faith are important. I have learned to risk wisely for lasting, honest commitment. I have learned about partnership, gratitude, and sacrifice. I have learned the joys of relationship with a partner who believes in me fully – and how to do the same – even if it means going places (literally and figuratively) that I thought I never needed or wanted to go. I have gained a partner who loves me unconditionally, friends that mean the world to me, and a community at FPC of the most ethical, passionate and compassionate people I have ever met.

Julian Howland